Day 9: Into the fire

Day 9: Arcade to Pontevedra : 7 miles

Today I woke up feeling sad.  I sat with it awhile.  I thought about yesterday evening when I had wine with a fellow pilgrim and knew it was related to that.

When I arrived at my hotel yesterday, I noticed an older woman sitting in the hotel bar/cafeteria having a glass of wine and I thought, "how nice".  I went to my room, showered, did my laundry (!) and returned downstairs to have a glass myself.  She was still there, eating an early dinner, and asked me to join her.  She was 65, had been a nurse, was from Australia.  I don't remember her name.  She asked me lots of questions; was I alone, where was I from, why was I doing the Camino, etc.  which I answered.  She had lost a niece and step son this past year to cancer/illness and was on Camino either in their honor or to cope with the sadness, I'm not sure which.  She then asked me all of the same questions again.  This went on for about 30 minutes and I realized that she was drunk, not demented.  I worried about her being on the Camino by herself as you have to be alert and aware and strong.  She asked if we could walk together tomorrow and I told her that I was planning to leave a little later because I had a short day but that if I saw her in the AM we could walk.  Then I went upstairs to change my laundry.

This experience is the second alcohol-related situation with older women that I have had in the past 2 months.  Some of you have heard the story from this summer where I found an elderly woman on the ground next to Little House in the middle of the night.  I was awakened by moaning around midnight and went outside to investigate.  I turned on my iphone flashlight and there she was, her legs tangled around a drain pipe, lying on the ground near our septic pump.  She had fallen over a retaining wall next to the camp.  I jumped down to her and she was talking gibberish.  She didn't want to answer my questions and got agitated.  She was bleeding.  I thought she was demented or had hit her head.  She told me to leave her alone so I climbed back up the wall and called 911.  That really pissed her off.  Turns out she was very drunk.  She could have been out there all night.

It's not that I fear I will become these women, because I don't drink like that.  However, when I woke up this morning and felt sad, I knew that it was because I had wine last night.  Even one glass of wine tends to make me feel a little blue the next day, a little off.  Many of you, but not all of you, know that I have battled with depression my whole adult life.  It was most severe when I had PPD after Josh was born, but has been an undercurrent in my life since.  There is no reason that I should make this battle tougher for myself any longer by adding alcohol.  I've stopped before because I knew it wasn't serving me, and now it's time to THROW IT IN THE FIRE.  Moving on....

So I started off around 8:30, walking very slowly, taking it easy, still feeling off.  I came upon a man in the woods and we created another wax stamp for my book.  I bought a shell pendant on a black leather strand.  As I walked away, he came huffing and puffing up the road to bring me a small paper bag to put the necklace in.  I showed him that I had it on already.  He noted that it was backwards and could he fix it for me?  I said yes.  He stood behind me, gently removed it, turned it around and fastened it behind my neck.  We said goodbye.  I immediately felt my throat constricting and the tears coming.  This small gentle gesture of caring had broken me a bit.  There is no better place to cry than on the Camino, alone in the woods.  So I let it out.  I didn't try to name the pain.  At 59, there are too many possibilities.

Man in the woods

Today's walk was not particularly photogenic but here are a few shots.

I reached Pontevedra around 11:30 and will spend the day looking around this vibrant city.  I will also rest up, because I have 3 more days of walking and the final day will be very challenging.  

Professor Jan told me about these buildings yesterday.  They are called horreos and used to be used to store grain.  They are raised from the ground on pillars with circular stones at the top to prevent rodents from getting to the food BECAUSE MICE CANT WALK UPSIDE DOWN.  Who knew?